Saturday, July 09, 2005

in 1984 i was hospitalized for approaching perfection

for those of you who don't know, the title for this entry is the opening line from the seminal american water album from the silver jews. if you really didn't know that, fie on you. you are not cool enough to continue reading this blog and must immediately listen to this album many times until you are cool enough.

also, fie on you all for not leaving any blog concepts for me, as per my command two blog entries ago. do you not realize that my tough-guy act is just a pitiful facade? beneath my gruff exterior is a sensitive, caring individual who just wants to be loved. why won't you love me?

at this point, i'd just like to let you know that i'm momentarily drunk while writing this entry. there. it's out there. drunk. blogging. what a horrible, irresponsible person i am. i'm also painting. aren't i cool and artistic? by the way, i just thought about intentionally misspelling the word artistic in that last sentence to emphasize the whole drunkenness thing. would that have been cute and artistic, or just pathetic. i can't make up my mind.

by the way, i wasn't serious about the whole not cool enough for this blog thing that i said in the first paragraph. well, maybe i was but i don't mind. you don't have to be cool to read my blog. i mean, i'm not cool, and i write my blog. self-pity. fashionable or no?

i must say, i am now realizing that this whole entry is done in the stream-of-consciousness style, which i'm sure is a result of me currently reading 'a heartbreaking work of staggering genius' by somebody eggers. yes, i know. copycat. however, i must say that it's easier to just write what comes to mind than to think long and hard about what is to be said. evidently, i must say 'i must say' as well, as i have apparently used it several times (or even twice) in the last paragraph. shameful.

ok, ok. i'm rambling. and drunk. these are valid complaints. i will consequently end this entry right now. but i can't think of anything wonderful and hilarious to end the entry with. or even wonderful. or hilarious. a joke maybe? a breezy witticism? maybe i'll just relate something i read on the internet that i found to be a bit amazing.

so, evidently some woman posted something online saying that her cat had been set on fire by somebody in the neighborhood and that she had some $5,000 vet bill. people of course sent her money, but in the end she revealed that the whole thing was a hoax. in fact, she claimed that it was an experiment meant to restore her (and her father's) faith in humanity. needless to say, these wonderful people who restored her faith in humanity didn't find this hoax so funny, and went about tearing her down online. rightfully so. that's what she gets for having faith in humanity.

i know that didn't make sense. so what? what do you want from me?

1 Comments:

Blogger sam_iv said...

Hey Michael, great blogging. I know it can be danting at times when you don't hear any responses, but I actually find blogging to be a very therapudic exercise. I must also applaud you on your narrative voice. It is rare that I find someone who has my same pension for wit and, at times, overly verbose language. I will definetly be adding you to my links.

4:12 PM

 

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