Monday, August 29, 2005

peapeeps

a week or two ago, trinity and i ordered groceries online from peapod. at the time this seemed like a great idea; we could indulge our laziness by ordering from home while simultaneously getting fresher food than is available at the ghetto-fabulous local grocery store known as giant. unfortunately, the incompetence of the peapod people (or peapeeps, as i will refer to them from here on) destroyed our plan.

when our groceries arrived the next day, i was informed that they were out of stock of raspberry sorbet, so they had replaced it with a similar item...by which they meant vanilla ice cream. needless to say, i was a bit dismayed by this turn of events, but i merely chalked it up to the dangers of dealing with people who hate all that is good and right in the world (i.e. peapeeps).

then i found out that they were also out of both chicken and white bread. i sat for a moment, dumbfounded. how does a grocery warehouse run out of chicken and bread? maybe the steroid-pumped chickens snapped, visciously pecking their cruel captors to a bloody pulp before stampeding to freedom across fields of grain, leading to a chicken/bread shortage. or perhaps the machines used for harvesting grain finally gained sentience (just like in the sci-fi movies!) and unleashed their fury on an unsuspecting chicken population (damn them and their cold hearts of steel that know no love!).

then again, i suppose it's possible (ok, certain) that the peapeeps are merely grossly incompetent and should be sent to camps where they will learn the intricacies of stocking basic foodstuffs. let the revolution begin.